Looking back, I can say, without a doubt, that there is nothing more pathetic than a woman with the physical attributes who lacks the basic skill set. Ladies, puh-leeze, learn how to do IT in a resilient, gutsy way. That is the fundamental difference between the women who enjoy life and those who do not.
Don’t believe the lies, that sex should be shame-based and unpleasant.
I am living proof of what happens to a woman once shame’s barbs no longer proved effective… I am with a partner who rings my bell regularly and have never settled in that area, once I began the work.
Remember- authentically pleasing sex increases your inspiration and creative output. Two very valuable ingredients in the pursuit of your Big Dream.
So, you’re not there yet… Perhaps you’re a bit uncomfortable with that region “down there.” Go get a vibrator, girl. Get some literature. Or perhaps get some other items from your local novelty store and don’t hold back. Walk into the store like you own the place and go grab the biggest, baddest toy you can find and then go up to the counter with confidence and ask, “what other colors does this come in?” The point here is that if you can’t walk into a store and buy a vibrator, how in the hell are you going to get the full pleasure out of it when you get home?
Women are taught to be the angel in white in and outside of the bedroom. We are taught to be “good girls.” C’mon ladies, I say learn to get down and dirty with your bad self. Shrug off that shit.
Everything that you learn about your pleasure will help you relate to that one special person without abandon anyway.
That is the goal, you see. To learn how to relate to that one special person with abandon.
I am not advocating slutdom unless it is a personal goal.
If you don’t know what you want and how to get it, then how do you expect another human being to know what you want or how to give it to you?
Sex is a powerful component in a relationship. While it isn’t the most important component, it certainly ranks up there. When you are with the right partner, the connection felt with your sexual chemistry can be electric.
Learn what you like. Learn what makes you scream. Understand your body and get comfortable with it. Nobody wants to have sex with a woman who only wants to lay on her back, avoid oral, and do it in the dark. Yupperino- that missionary porn industry is just booming these days, isn’t it?
And oh, about the “o.” Ladies you are only doing yourselves harm by lying about it.
You are never going to teach your partner how to give you that favorite vowel if you pretend the boring little move he just pulled actually did it for you. Talk about giving someone an inflated sense of self esteem. You’re only going to confuse the hell out of him when tries that move with his next partner.
Do yourself a favor. Tell the truth. If he asks if you had the “O” and you didn’t then say “No.”
And another thing…
For all you gorgeous middle aged women out there at the top of your game who are reading my stuff to gain tips on keeping your man interested… Say you believe your man is drawn to a 20 year old without your worldly experience. So what. It won’t last, trust me. In the immortal words of a dear male friend, “What am I going to do with a 18 year old other than lose interest?”
Do you remember what you were like when you first entered the sexual realm? Pretty darned self-absorbed, too self-conscious to clearly articulate what you wanted in the sack. That pretty young thing wants to do it with another pretty young thing like she is, and if she’s bothering with your dude at all it’s because she’s after his acquisitions, not him. He’ll catch on at some point, in the meantime, laugh your ass off. Take him for all he’s worth and get yourself a little cougar action. I guarantee that you’ll:
(a) appear more attractive to your ex
(b) be having better sex than your ex. You’re going to get “drilled” while he lays with a dead fish.
(c) do well in the divorce settlement as you make your way toward your godly equivalent- a man who doesn’t run around on his wife who is age appropriate for where you’re at.
After all, the Chinese character for crisis embodies two qualities: both danger and opportunity. Make the most of your ex’s low self esteem and upgrade to a better model. He sounds like an ass anyway.