SWOT’ing for Dudes

Just call me Maya “SWOT Analysis” Jordan. I’m so big on this strategy it should be my middle name.

What is a SWOT Analysis, you ask?

It is a framework from which to analyze your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats.

In other words, what strengths do you have that no one else has, what weaknesses are you aware of, what opportunities are lurking in the distance, and what threats are coming down the pike?

The SWOT Analysis’ applications in the dating realm are numerous.

I’ve written extensively for women on the benefits of the SWOT. Now it’s your turn, guys. So listen up.

Before any effective SWOT, a person needs to identify their goals.

What are your dating goals, might I ask?

SWOT Analysis for dudes

Let me venture a guess…

Your Goals:
1. Meet hot chicks
2. Date hot chicks
3. Bang hot chicks

Here’s how I’m guessing the average guy’s SWOT breaks down:


  • Intelligence [you’re visiting this site now, aren’t you?]
  • Sense of humor
  • A developing alpha attitude
  • A great car
  • Nice eyes


  • Not quite up to date on wardrobe
  • Not rich or famous
  • Crooked teeth
  • About 10 lbs overweight
  • Divorced & afraid of commitment


  • New hot chick at work
  • New gym membership
  • Some expendable income
  • Travel quite a bit


  • Crazy ex-girlfriend with the big mouth
  • Demanding job with long hours
  • Loser friends who drink way too much

This is a nice SWOT. See how the average guy has a lot going for him? Not so sure… Okay, let me tell you why, according to moi… A member of your target demographic.

What is the most attractive thing about a man? His intelligence level. For sure. Women don’t want someone who’s oppressively intellectual as in someone who quotes obscure French films at every turn, but a healthy sense of intelligence is a major turn-on. Ultimately, we’d like someone to hold a conversation with after sex so we don’t have to roll over and pretend to be asleep.

The second most attractive thing about a man? His sense of humor. Keep her laughing and she’ll be undressing faster than you know it. How else did Wayne Campbell get Cassandra “the fox” in Wayne’s World? He had this one nailed. Stone cold.

A developing alpha attitude is imperative. Did you know that dominant males in some primate groups comprise up to 75% of all mating with desirable females? Human beings are primates, the last time I checked. Do yourself a favor, if you haven’t already and check in with J.D. Dallas of the Modern Male Lifestyle. The man lives and breathes this stuff. Women like moi appreciate a challenge and J.D. trains men on how to do just that.

A great car? Bonus time for the girl in question. She needs to be able to picture herself riding in your car. If you have a nice one this makes it easier for her. Nice cars speak to a sense of style, a quality that is critical to an attractive woman. Attractive women want you to notice their shoes, their hair, and their lingerie and compliment them on it.

Nice eyes… This one is kind of take it or leave it, honestly. I can and have tolerated beady little hamster eyes because a dude had a cock with the girth of a beer can. Nice eyes tell me nothing about how you’ll be in bed.

In terms of weaknesses – these are all things that are fixable. You can buy new clothes. You don’t have to be rich or famous- most women will forgive that. You can get your teeth straightened. You can lose that last, stubborn 10 lbs with a good diet and exercise. You can be divorced and fearful of commitment- all that does is establish the fact that you’re straight and like most alpha males, reticent to commit. A reticence to commit spells a greater commodity to the hot chick.

These opportunities are ripe for capitalizing upon. The new girl at work? Bang-able, provided you weed out a few of those weaknesses.

In terms of sexual competence – anything ranging from competence to mastery is passable in the hot chick’s book. You can be deviant as shit as long as you have some intelligence to your cock. She’ll go along with it, to a point.

A gym is a prime pick-up spot. Lots of folks in spandex, sweating in front of large mirrors? Sounds like a 70’s disco. And we all know what happened in those. Gyms are one of my favorite places to pick-up guys. I love parading around in something teensy-tiny and then bending over to retrieve the free weights. The fact that this guy has a gym membership means he’s already starting to target that weakness mentioned above- those stubborn last 10 lbs. Good for you, brother. Walk it out.

Expendable income = generous, a quality that is so appreciated by the hot chicks of the world. This may sound crass but I always figure that if a well-SWOT’d guy can afford me, he deserves me. If he can’t pick up the bar tab or pay for the taxi then he’s most likely cheap and I want none of that. I want the guy who’ll spring for flowers at the bodega on the way home. The guy who prefers sushi to burgers and fries. The guy who understands that sometimes you pay other people to lend their expertise on wine, travel, entertainment, and service.

Traveling quite a bit puts this guy in touch with lots of women. It also means that he has access to multiple opportunities at one time. The idea of travel is romantic while the reality can be taxing. However, women love romance so lotsa travel speaks to a “gypsy soul…” It’s irresistible. She can also imagine going with you, on occasion. Surprising you in your hotel room in just a trenchcoat… That kinda stuff is great fun.

The crazy ex-girlfriend is a major threat, not to be taken lightly. Girls talk. A lot. If this guy’s ex is in contact with sexy, available women then she could play major interference. Since the entire purpose of a SWOT is to strengthen your strengths (duh), minimize your weaknesses (double duh), explore your opportunities (triple duh), and eliminate your threats (quadruple duh), you need to treat this with a delicacy that rivals glass blowing. Make it a point to neutralize this chick. I’m not talking about hiring a hit man, I’m talking about good communication. Set her up with someone, let her pawn the engagement ring, write a blog espousing her understanding nature. Whatever it is – make your break-up a resolved, coordinated effort to achieve closure. You do not need negative P.R. Negative P.R. leads to an empty bed.

The demanding job is just plain sexy. It suggests that you have other folks asking for your time, you’re in high demand. It also implies that you make good money – another sexy characteristic.

Loser friends who drink too much are easy to negotiate. Just get rid of them. When you’re 18 and you drink too much it’s aspirational, when you’re 25 and you drink too much it’s kind of endearing, when you’re 35 it’s bordering on pathetic, when you’re 45 it’s inexcusable. If you’re beyond 45 and you’re still drinking too much it’s time to throw in the towel and hit a 12 step program. Men are supposed to go to work, pay taxes, drive cars, and have health insurance. If you don’t have any of these things or are hanging out with men who are missing one or more of these things you need to move the fuck on past the hot chick. She’s on the look-out for signs of stability. If any of that shit is missing it implies instability. Successful men hang out with other successful men.

Your goals of meeting, dating, and banging hot chicks are completely attainable if you have a SWOT like this.

So do yourself a favor and see where you stand. Spell it out, write it down, commit it to memory, target and correct it until you have mitigated as much risk as possible and expanded upon your assets to be the best package you can possibly be.

Then you’ll have your pick of the litter.

Leave a Reply