One of my favorite research activities is to go out with a couple of my girlfriends to some local “pick up clubs” and just sit back and observe.
I see men all the time make tons of mistakes when approaching women.
You wanna know what the number one mistake these guys make is?
I thought you might.
Here it is.
I’ve seen guy after guy fail with a woman he just met by trying too hard to impress her.
That’s right – he is trying to impress the woman he is approaching.
What’s wrong with that?
I’m glad you asked.
The short version is: Everything.
Your mindset HAS to be that the woman should be trying to impress you, not the other way around. And when you think this way, it will show in everything you do and everything you say.
Here’s the long version.
Any reasonably attractive woman has been approached a million times by the time you find her standing across the room. She knows you are interested, otherwise you wouldn’t be getting in her face.
She is either going to be unavailable, or she will play along for a period of time to see where you are going with this. And this is the critical stage.
If you’ve already decided that you want this chick before you speak to her, you’re going to be going in with the mindset of impressing her. And man, is she bored with that. Every guy who approaches her does this.
At this point, you are doomed – because everything you do and say will be colored subtly by your “hope” that she will like you.
In this situation, You are the seller. She is the buyer. Which means she holds all the cards.
And I see it all the time.
Guys approach and crash and burn because they just don’t know how to talk to a woman. They have the mindset that they are “getting lucky” when they can get a woman’s interest. And luck has nothing to do it.
Successfully approaching and engaging a woman has everything to with your attitude. If you are the buyer – then you are in control.
So very few men get this, that the available women out number real men. With that being the case, real men are in demand, so by definition you have your choice. You can be picky. And you should.
And even if this chick is so hot that you just have to have her, you still have to let her know you are evaluating her. I guarantee you few if any men have ever approached her this way. You are going to stand out like a mofo.
I know there’s a shit-ton of “How to pick up women” methods, systems, lines, gambits and tricks and scams out there. They all cost you your hard-earned cash, and they leave out the most important ingredient. The attitude.
All the tricks designed to impress women don’t amount to shit compared to having the proper mindset and the attitude that it takes to be successful.